I’m angry!

So the phone rings at like 10:45 last night. As usual my husband doesn’t answer it because we are in bed and he has to get up early. We know who it is it’s his best friend. This is not the first time he has called when he knows we are in bed. Anyway, we lay there and an hour later the phone rings again. This time it is a different man saying that Chad’s best friend is talking crazy and he can’t calm him down. I’m not really sure where to go from here.

So I’ll do my best not to make this confusing. The man that called we’ll say he’s “John”….is a christian man that goes to church and that him and his wife are very open about wanting to be in God’s light, and keeping their family on the right path. I am all for that and I know that most people have their hearts in the right place even when they are wrong.

Ok so “steve” calls my husband and when he doesn’t get him, he calls John. Who then calls my husband and then my husband calls Steve. I know that something is wrong at this point and I am just hoping that it’s not another call saying that someone they love has died. That happened to us in January. Anyway, my husband talks to Steve for a minute we get out of bed, and next thing he says is I’m going to Steve’s house. It’s not like his house is just down the road, he lives 30 minutes away. So I kiss him, tell me to be careful, and let me know when he gets there.

Steve is drunk and apperantly his wife has left the house. That was all I knew at the time. My heart is just breaking because I know how much they love each other and I know that they are dealing with some pretty major issues. Aside from just getting home from Iraq, Steve is the one that found his friend in January who had accidentally over dosed while drinking. Man….can we even imagine? I know I can’t. I’m pretty sure I would be messed up for a long time. Anyway, not that I agree necessarily, but he needed someone to love him and just to listen. Sure he was yelling and mad and going off about his wife and what she was doing. But he was mad, and upset, and she had left. I’m sure there were 1,000 things going through his head.

This is why I am angry. Today I look at John’s wife’s myspace page and she has a message on there about how Steve is ungrateful and she is losing sleep because he wants to grip about his responsibilities. I am so angry. i realize that it’s really none of my business. And there is no reason for me to get involved. But Steve is like my brother, I love him. I would protect him from anything that I had the power to protect him from. I am proud of him, and I want him to learn things. I am so angry that someone who claims to be a good friend, and care so much would be so ugly about something that obviously says that Steve was in need.

I get so tired of “christian” people doing things in the name of God that are not what god would want. Do I think that God would say Steve was right or doing the right thing. No I don’t, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve friends and someone to listen to him and love him and be there for him when he needs them. Plus, I can’t stand liars. I can’t stand people that lead you to believe something that is absolutely not true. I know Steve I spend time with him, I talk to him, and I know his heart. I also know that he is struggling and he is lost and he needs someone to love him and be there for him. It seems that this family is only willing to be friend and believe God lead people into their lives if that person is willing to follow them blindly and believe everything that they say….oh not to mention not put them out to much. If you have issues they need to be at a certain time of day and only last so long because they have other things to do and sleep is important.

I am not God and I am not their judge. That is for them to face when they meet God. I don’t know what he will decide and that is something that only he can know. All I know is this. I have watched too many people walk away from God because they don’t know him and people that do are bad stewards and show them a God that is not real. A God that wants perfection and that wants you to automatically change from one day to the next. That is not true, I believe taht it is a process and that we all find our way to him. But that has nothing to do with our hearts and our love for him or desire to be a part of him.

I’m still trying to figure all this out. And maybe it’s not anger, it’s heart break and pain. My heart hurts for Steve and what he is going through and it breaks that someone would treat him so badly in a time when he is so obviously in need of understanding and love. I guess I will go thanks for reading and listening.

Have a blessed day!!!!