9 Years

Today I have been married to one of the most amazing men I have even known for 9 years. I am so blessed and thankful for the years that we have had and spent together. Some people might think it’s a little crazy to have this wong before this post. But I love this song. And sometimes life is so much like it. One of the things I use a filter for my thoughts is that if at the end of the day I just want to be mad for a while, it’s probably not worth being mad over. God put us here to love and while living with someone and trying to raise a family for 9 years often brings commitments, and arguments, fights, disagreements but in the end loving someone is more important than whatever your personal differences are. There are ways to learn and live together in a way that can brings great happiness and contendedness in life. Sometimes people want happiness or excitement all the time, or they feel like there is something missing. I don’t believe that there is something to be said to having a routine and being able to just be together doing normal everyday things. Nine years brings so many changes and so much growth. It’s hard to imagine what would have been different if I had not shared this time with my husband. I know that I would not be the same person, I know that I would not love in the way that I do. That I would not have been pushed to become better, even if the pushing is very hard to take sometimes. I know that I could not love him more than I do because of what he adds to my life. It’s not always easy, and many times it has been the most difficult thing that I have ever done, but I wouldn’t change a thing!! I wouldn’t want to live one part of it different because it has and is shaping me into someone that is hopefully stronger, wiser, and more loving than I was when we got together. There is a reality to marriage that I believe leads to many of the divorces in this country. And it is that it’s not always loving and pretty and wonderful. There is heart ache and heart break, there is anger, resentment, and rejection at times. But if you work and work hard you can find a deeper kind of love and a different kind of love than we are shown on TV and in many ways in the relationships that we have. People as a whole don’t really talk about what really goes into marraige. They talk about what makes it work and what God wants us to do in general terms. But who really says “my husband and I got in a fight and it got heated and horrible things were said, and I just don’t know if we are going to make it” I don’t hear that much. Of course I know people that are divorced or are getting divorced or who have some issues, but so many times it’s like you know someone is having some issues and then all the suddden bam they’re getting a divorce. And you kind of wonder where did that come from? I knew they had some issues but I didn’t know that it was really that bad. And I often wonder if that’s because people are too quick to say I’m done.

I’ve seen a quote a couple of times recently that said something to the affect of “Staying doesn’t make you strong, sometimes leaving is what makes you strong.” That’s not a direct quote cause I can’t remember it exactly. But I have thought about this a lot and I just really wonder if that is true in any sense. I by no means think that someone should stay in an abusive relationship or one where there are serious issues. And definately in some cases it is having to the strength to leave that truly makes you stronger. But in large part and in many cases I simply don’t believe this is true. Having the strength to stay and work things out, whether it be in marriage, a job, a family, a friendship is one of the toughest things there is to do. And I truly believe that those people have a strength and a peace that can not be surpassed by too many things. It takes a lot of personal power to stay with something that may be painful and that may make you have to look harder at yourself and what you are doing more than you may want to. Giving of yourself and learning to give of yourself for those around you is extremely difficult and requires a very large amount of strength and courage.
the love that growth that I have found in my marriage is something that I don’t think can be replaced or surpassed by any other relationship that I have had in my life, except for maybe my parents who helped to shape me to begin with. I am so thankful to have this man. To have his love, time, and life to share. And to be able to hopefully spend many more years with loving and growing and hopefully being people that God wants us to be learning and growing in Him as well

Be blessed!!!

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